Unless the job is a statistician.” - Adam Gropman “Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent.“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” - Tina Fey, Bossypantsįive days of your week are spent under someone else’s roof, so use up some of that time with these fun quotes about being a working stiff.Unless you’re a serial killer.” - Ellen DeGeneres “People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.” - Betty White."Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." - Albert Einstein.“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns.The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” - Sir Norman Wisdom “As you get older, three things happen.“A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.” - Graham Norton. “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.” - Claire Belcher (Olivia Dukakis), Steel Magnolias.“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” - Robin Williams.“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” - Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey), Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.The people who need it most never use it.” - Anonymous “Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’” - Steven Wright.I wake up in the morning and say, ‘I don’t know, should I have a popsicle or a donut?’ You know, who knows?” - Oscar Nunez Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” - Groucho Marx
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